“I like to throw myself a good pity party, complete with balloons shaped like sad faces.”

“Feeling sorry for myself is my cardio.”

“If there were Olympic games for pity parties, I’d definitely win the gold.”

“Life handed me lemons, so I made a whole lemonade bar for my pity party.”

“Pity parties should be catered with endless amounts of ice cream.”

“Sometimes I just need a good cry and a tub of chocolate chip cookie dough.”

“I’m the CEO of a one-person pity party.”

“Pity parties are like mini-vacations, but without the sandy beaches.”

“My pity party playlist is just Adele’s greatest hits on repeat.”

“The only VIP at my pity parties is me, and I don’t need a plus one.”

“My pity parties have their own theme song: ‘Another One Bites the Dust'”

“I RSVP to my own pity parties, because nobody else wants to attend.”

“No one throws a better pity party than me, I’ve got the decorations and the tears to prove it.”

“Pity parties are the perfect excuse to wear pajamas all day.”

“My pity parties are so exclusive, even I’m not invited.”

“I throw pity parties like it’s nobody’s business, except for mine.”

“Pity parties are my version of self-care.”

“If life hands you lemons, turn them into a lemonade stand at your pity party.”

“Pity parties are the best way to earn your sad sob story badges.”

“You know you’re a pro at pity parties when you can cry on demand.”

“I’m the master of ceremonies at my own pity party, and I’m always the guest of honor.”

“My pity parties have more confetti than actual happiness.”

“If anyone needs me, I’ll be in my blanket fort hosting a pity party.”

“The theme of my pity party is ’emo meets whimsical.'”

“Pity parties should come with a ‘do not disturb’ sign.”

“Sometimes you just need to let your inner drama queen shine at a pity party.”

“Pity parties are the most exclusive events in town, because nobody wants to come.”