“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.”

“I may be a potato, but I still make mash.”

“Life is like a roller coaster; sometimes you just have to scream and enjoy the ride.”

“The only exercise I get is running late.”

“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing.”

“I’m not clumsy. It’s just the floor hates me, gravity is unusually strong, and chairs keep attacking me.”

“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”

“I’m in shape. Round is a shape too.”

“I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.”

“Procrastination is my superpower. I can stop time by doing nothing.”

“I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just in a committed relationship.”

“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.”

“The best things in life are free, but the better things are expensive.”

“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.”

“I don’t remember which one is right: ‘left’ or ‘right.’ So, I always follow my GPS.”

“Common sense is like deodorant; those who need it the most never use it.”

“I never make the same mistake twice. I make it about five or six times, just to be sure.”

“I’m not messy, I’m creatively organized.”

“I love when someone tells me I can’t do something. It just inspires me to prove them wrong.”

“Life is too short to be taken too seriously. Laugh, smile, and enjoy the little moments.”