FUNNY SAM WINCHESTER QUOTES

“Just once, I’d like to fight a monster that doesn’t piss me off.”

“Demons I get, humans are crazy.”

“You ever notice angels are never cool, like, ‘Hey Sam, hey Dean, let’s go get our Halo’s polished.'”

“Yeah, I’m Batman. And that’s my brother, Fatman.”

“I’m not a serial killer, I swear. I just have a lot of exes that turned out to be demons.”

“I’m too pretty to die.”

“I’m not saying it’s aliens, but it’s aliens.”

“If I had a nickel for every time someone accused me of being evil, I’d have like five bucks. Tops.”

“Just once, I want to be the one who says, ‘I told you so.'”

“You know that feeling when you’re about to get punched? I have that ALL the time.”

“You know what they say, ‘Once you go demon, you never go back.’ Or maybe that’s just me…”

“If I had a dollar for every time someone tried to kill me, I could buy a private island.”

“I swear, if monsters were a job, I’d have the best resumé in the world.”

“Note to self: Never trust a girl with glowing eyes.”

“I don’t have issues, I have subscriptions.”

“I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.”

“Saving people and hunting things, the family business… and I still don’t have a 401k.”

“I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I’m definitely the most handsome.”

“It’s a good thing I’m pretty, because I have the luck of a blind squirrel in a nut factory.”

“I’m like a bad penny, I just keep turning up.”

“If hunting demons doesn’t pay well, I can always become a stand-up comedian. I mean, my life is a joke.”

“You know it’s a messed up world when monsters are my version of normal.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I missed running from monsters. It’s like therapy, but with more screaming.”