“Periods are like sentences… they can be quite irregular.”

“I’m sorry, my period is making me extra sarcastic today.”

“I don’t always have a period, but when I do, it’s like a horror movie marathon.”

“If men had periods, tampons would be available in vending machines next to beer.”

“Why do they call it ‘menopause’ anyway? It should be called ‘men receive’.”

“Periods are just nature’s way of reminding us that we can bleed for a week and not die.”

“You know you’re on your period when you count down the days until you can wear sweatpants again.”

“My period is here, and it’s stealing my happiness faster than a pickpocket in a crowded market.”

“Do you ever think our ovaries just enjoy watching us suffer every month?”

“Forget the red carpet, periods deserve their own award show. They’re quite the performance!”

“Periods are like bad weather forecasts… they never arrive when you actually want them to.”

“Having a period feels like opening a surprise package from hell every month.”

“You know you’re on your period when your emotions can go from zero to full-on drama queen in 5 seconds.”

“Who needs a bullhorn when you have a period? It can announce your arrival from miles away.”

“Periods: proof that women can survive an internal apocalypse every month.”

“There should be a support group for people who forgot their tampons at home… we have ‘tamnesia.'”

“The only thing scarier than a horror movie? Trying to find a tampon in a completely empty bag.”

“Thank you, PMS, for never failing to turn me into a ‘personalized mood swing’ machine.”

“Periods are like a subscription service you can’t cancel, no matter how much you want to opt-out.”

“I told my period it was time to move out, but it insists on staying rent-free in my uterus.”

“Why do periods make me crave chocolate like my life depends on it? It’s a cocoa conspiracy!”

“Who needs magical powers when you have a period? You can turn a white pants masterpiece into a horror movie scene.”

“Periods are like surprise guests that show up uninvited every month. Can we have an RSVP system, please?”