“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.” – Unknown

“Christmas presents are meant to be a surprise, not a test of my detective skills.” – Unknown

“Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home.” – Carol Nelson

“The main reason Santa is jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.” – George Carlin

“Dear Santa, before I explain, how much do you know already?” – Unknown

“Who needs snowflakes when you have sequins?” – Unknown

“Christmas cookies and holiday hearts, that’s the way the holiday starts.” – Unknown

“Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle.” – Unknown

“Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.” – Unknown

“What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with a present.” – Unknown

“Christmas is like candy; it slowly melts in your mouth, sweetening every taste bud, making you wish it could last forever.” – Richelle E. Goodrich

“There’s nothing sadder in the world than to awake on Christmas morning and not be a child.” – Erma Bombeck

“Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included.” – Unknown

“Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.” – Victor Borge

“Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.” – Bridger Winegar

“I hope Rudolph eats the naughty list this year.” – Unknown

“Christmas is the time to be jolly, but it’s also the time for long lines and irritated shoppers.” – Unknown

“I’m only a morning person on December 25th.” – Unknown

“Christmas is stressful. From shopping for the perfect gifts to getting stuck in traffic, it’s the most wonderful time for a meltdown.” – Unknown

“Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor? Because he had low “elf” esteem!” – Unknown

“I tried to get into the Christmas spirit, but then it started snowing.” – Unknown

“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is by singing loud enough for everyone to hear… or by baking cookies and sharing them.” – Unknown

“All I want for Christmas is for someone to do my Christmas shopping for me.” – Unknown

“Christmas: The only time of year you can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks.” – Unknown

“The best Christmas present is always the present of being present.” – Unknown